Choosing Happiness
This was an original LAMOMS blog that I posted seven years ago. It popped up in my Facebook memories today. I re-read it and then went out on the deck and read it to my husband. Life changes, sometimes ever so quickly, but it's nice to know that I still have the same goals and outlooks on things that matter.
April 15, 2010
Choosing Happiness
We decided to go on an over-nighter to lovely Santa Barbara over Spring Break. My
youngest couldn’t wait to leave our house and start our adventure. Yet, his mood seemed
dour and sour on the roughly one hour ride. I don’t know if he was hungry or tired or not
happy with the music selection playing, but he was very focused on maintaining his morose
mood. When he would notice I was looking at him, his scowl intensified. Finally, I said to
him, “Joey, is there anything wrong?”
“No,” he replied.
“Then you should choose happiness.”
We soon arrived in Santa Barbara, had lunch, checked into our hotel and went on a Landshark Tour. The boys were amazed. We were on a bus…and then the bus drove into the water…and it became a boat. How cool was that? My sour and dour boy was grinning from ear to ear. Later we took them to a city park with an 8,000 square foot Kids Zone Playground. I didn’t know a grin could stretch further than ear to ear. Now, he could have chosen to complain despite it all (kids do sometimes cry at Disneyland). But, he didn’t. He immersed himself in the family adventure. He chose happiness.
There are many things I want for my children. These include a good education, good health, common sense, the ability to discern between want and need (at their current ages, that’s still a dream). Mostly, though, I want them to be happy. I want them to learn how to choose happiness. I recognize that for some it’s chemically impossible to do so; but for most of us, on most days, happiness is a choice.
Let me first say I don’t consider myself a Pollyanna. I am not oblivious to the situations in my neighborhood, state, country, church or world (although some days I wish I were). After my mother was in the full throws of early-onset Alzheimer’s I was grieving and periodically depressed, but not suffering from depression. I have witnessed random acts of violence and bizarre twists of fate. While keenly aware that there is another shoe that could drop, it is not something that dominates my thoughts or decision-making process. I prepare for the worst, but hope for the best - not just with events but with people, too. My time here is limited so why not find the joy?
For me, finding the joy involves different things and often it’s reminding myself that in the great scheme of things, whatever is irritating me at the moment won’t matter a week from now. I get outside. I look at the clouds or the stars. I listen to my favorite songs. I sing (loudly if I can). I dance around my kitchen. I call a friend or my husband for either sympathy or perspective. Giving…giving always makes me feel better. Sometimes a good glass
of lemonade-ice tea does it. Happiness doesn’t have to be big. Sometimes the world throws you a curve ball. Most of the time you have the tools to deal with it. Most of the time, I can choose to find the joy. I want that for my kids. I hope I can teach them that. If I can succeed in doing that, it will make me…happy.
This is an original LA Moms Blog.
Teresa also whistles while she works on her LA Moms Blogs.
